Christmastime has returned to America! Our favorite holiday celebrating the rampant consumerism and fourth-quarterly profits has finally come again and it is time to please our great Lord on High: the GDP! While having come a long way from its quaint beginnings, the birth of an impoverished stable-boy, the media would still have us believe it has a humbler meaning. Peace-on-Earth and Goodwill-to-men make better Hallmark cards, I guess; and comfort-and-joy, or a little ‘Christmas Magic’ make better Hallmark movies, but try showing up at your childhood house Christmas morning with a heart full of love and cheer and zero presents. You can go shove your Boughs-of-Holly right up your stocking with Mat and Veronique as we claw through the decorative paper covering the reality of The Spirit of Christmas!

*Grumbles are specifically off-the-cuff, no research went into this grumble.

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